Enrico's survival guide

Enrico is a species of wild coffee plant, so named for his small, red seeds. You can try to brew those seeds into coffee but it will taste bland and might give you a headache. His seeds are better suited for wildlife, mostly birds but butterflies eat them too! Don’t spread that around though, or you’ll totally ruin Enrico’s image. Call him “little psycho” instead, because he can turn on you in a second, and then you’ll be like, “Woah, Enrico, is that you?” And then he’ll be like, “I’m not Enrico. I’m your worst nightmare.” And then you’ll just put him outside or something, because Enrico’s only a plant and you’ve got opposable thumbs and can bend your knees.

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What makes Enrico so special

Enrico doesn’t have emotions. He listens to heavy metal and shops at Hot Topic. Want to do something crazy? He’s standing a safe distance behind you screaming, “Do it or you’re scared!” Um, you want Enrico to do it too? You know what, Enrico forgot to tell you, but he has this thing. You know, the thing? With those people, at that place? Well, anyway...catch ya later.