Did you know that this couch will help you understand the height of your plant?

Schreck's survival guide

Stay out of my swamp!

Ogre Ears are like onions. Ogre Ears have layers. Onions have layers. But nobody cares about getting to know Schreck the Ogre Ear’s inner self. They see his outer layer, totally ignoring his deep emotional depth, and they’re like, “Oh, a plant. Plants can’t talk.” As if that excludes him from experiencing close friendships and true love’s kiss. But it’s okay, because Schreck doesn’t need people. He doesn’t need anybody. He’s perfectly miserable on his own. Miiiiserable. Devastaaated. Laaaacking companionship. Woo!

pot has a diameter of 10 cm
Little water needed
Light air purifying
Once a year
15 cm tall, including pot
Direct sunlight
Slightly poisonous
Not needed

Our Plant Care App will help you after your purchase

What makes Schreck so special

Unlike some Ogres, this Ogre the plant would die if he lived in a dark, wet swamp. Your Schreck needs bright light and the occasional watering (once every ten days or so depending on the climate) to survive. Additionally, Schreck has a curated list of the people and creatures who aren’t allowed anywhere near him, so please read it carefully: three blind mice, wolves in night gowns, princesses of any kind (unless they turn into ogres at night, in which case he’ll give them a pass), fairy godmothers, talking gingerbread men, three-foot-tall kings with bad hair, and – most importantly, for the love of god – NO talking donkeys. Schreck just not ready for a redemption arc quite yet. Give him time!

Crassula | Ogre Ears (S)


  • made of
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Plant Care App

Our app will tell you exactly when and how much to feed and water your plants. Are you already a pro in taking care of your plant? Great! The App is completely optional of course.

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